I opened a package with CDs to discuss and first thought: Is Det trying to mess with me? Did he find this thing somewhere and wants to test where our tolerance threshold lies? Or did they seriously send him the album at Ramtatta? And why did they think I was the most suitable writer for this "work"? I'm starting to have my doubts. Or is my reaction even well-calculated and desired? Hm. Well. I liked Böhse Onkelz about as much as athlete's foot during their time as a band. I actually liked their fans even less. ENKELZ is a Böhse Onkelz cover band from Hamburg. (Maybe some have already suspected that with the original band name.) A cover band that has now come up with the idea of releasing their own songs. In my eyes, nobody needs that. To ensure that someone buys it anyway, the four sympathetic figures seem to have invested quite a bit of money. Not everyone can provide a glossy DIN A3 press release, their own label, and a fat digipak release. Just like with their heroes, it seems to be the typical provincial story when looking at the tour schedule. Personally, I also don't remember any Böhse Onkelz concert in recent years that took place in Cologne, for example. ENKELZ will surely be celebrated by many average intelligent, unfairly treated, pubescent village and small-town teenagers at two promille. There, they actually fill quite large halls. ENKELZ also feel totally unfairly treated, ranting against wimps ("Your whining") many are against them, and they also directly complain about people who accuse them of having right-wing thoughts. If this topic annoys you all so much, then just shut up about it. But it probably boosts credibility, right? And of course, it makes them even more Siamese twins of the Onkelz. So, I have never experienced a band that wants to be someone else so desperately. A short excerpt from "Dummheit kennt keine Grenzen": "You say ENKELZ are crap, are completely stupid / and spread right-wing thought garbage / honestly, you have a flaw, you're boring / and you deserve our undivided mockery." I don't know the political opinion of the "comrades," but I'll leave the rest uncommented. On the cover, the four musicians (three bald to short-haired, one masked) are all tattooed, some with bare upper bodies and crossed arms. This desired appearance does not fit at all with the absolutely most kitschy song I've heard in a long time, "Fern am Horizont." Compared to that, Echt Hardcore was hardcore. Unfortunately, the singer can't sing, and his voice gets on my nerves. Oh, does anyone want more text examples? The guys do master their instruments, the music is totally inconsequential to boring rock, but the lyrics remind me of first rhyme attempts in German class. Really big cinema! Okay, you wanted it this way. "Our reputation precedes us, we are ENKELZ and rock the house (...) Yes, you can say we are from the profession, but we are not nerds / looked at more closely, we are exotics and some would like to have forbidden us / tonight we will collect the applause, we are ENKELZ and we rock the house (...) Spreading Lala is far from us, we have dedicated ourselves to depth / and if we ENKELZ were all angels, you would definitely not love us." So, dedicated to depth, huh? For me, that's wannabe-emotional nonsense of the worst kind. I've always said about the Onkelz that they might not be such a bad band if they had different lyrics, a different singer, and different fans. But these imitators here are just there, inconsequential. At best, unintentionally funny. Not convincingly evil, but emo and kitsch are also not believable from them, the songwriting is mediocre, the lyrics are terrible, but they are very convinced of themselves (or rather of the Onkelz). They left one song on the CD for a friend artist to present and another piece, "Zu den Sternen," is for me the only somewhat usable one on the disc. Here, there is some straightforward hard rock with a bit of punk. But that doesn't change anything anymore.
Andy
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