Dear readers, before I start describing anything, I would like to pose a small task: Please try to think of nothing. This won't be possible, but one can try to think as LITTLE as possible. Ready? Good! Second task: Try to bring this great nothing to paper with colors, shapes, and other niceties. Thank you!
What was that supposed to be? Quite simple: That was a little self-experiment conducted by you to put you in my shoes. After all, I find myself in such a situation right now. I also have to make something out of very little in order to write about it… and that turns out to be damn difficult!
Because “Fahneneid” is… well, it’s just that. Just like a stone is. Or two stones. Maybe even a mountain. It’s there, takes up space, and that’s basically it. It’s bursting with mediocrity and typical punk clichés to the extent that even an absolutely scathing review would do this record better (after all, even bad publicity is still publicity) than this mediocrity. I even had to draw a bit of “inspiration” from other sources to find points where I could simply latch on. But I was struck: Why is the album praised? Why not use more than two sentences to describe the CD? Strangely enough, I only found arguments like: “I know them personally, they started well!”. Are you sure no points for friendliness were involved?
Well, I guess I have to get back to it and really stretch my imagination. The punk cliché is grandly fulfilled again in several places:
The beginning is still quite bearable (but only the first time), although it’s already slightly annoying. A typical welcome song. “Hello, we are…”. Nothing special, but also nothing I would apply the big red pen to (as I said, at least not the first time). However, the chorus is already extremely annoying on the second run with “We are finally here…”. I remember my dear brother well, who, under the agonizing screams of thousands of dying brain cells, remarked: “Do they ever stop or is something stuck?”. Well.
Let’s take a look further. Oh, an anti-disco song. Wow, that’s an innovation, really. “Please get out of my way, go to the disco, because that’s where you belong”. Great, this is also accompanied by a strange voice that seems to have desperately tried to make it sound a bit like “singing”. Ouch, that really hurts… The main thing is to be “totally against it” again. “Cool man!”.
War, of course, must not be neglected. Let alone the phrases that are supposed to describe how bad and evil it is. A political bridge is even built, stating that democracy and capitalism are also not great. Great, three topics covered at once! Only the problem is that nothing new is offered here either, except for blunt talk.
“Astra Pilsener” is a song about – and now hold on – BEER! Okay, noted. It’s not really new either, but one of the songs you can actually listen to… even if not often. And only if you have at least a blood alcohol level of 1.0. Stylistically, the song is not really successful.
With the song “Die Zeit ist reif”, I had to chuckle a bit. With their line “Nazis Raus is just a statement”, they touch on an important topic, but still seem to just be giving lyrical ballast by writing/singing cliché-ridden about various topics. The song would have been much more credible under significantly better circumstances. Instead, it comes off as a bit forced. But at least, the thought counts after all…
With the twelfth song “Die Gesetze macht der Staat”, the three little people from Celle have created a song that really makes me ponder. Yes, really, I think quite intensely when I listen to this song! For example, I think about whether I should cry tears or already blow-dry my hair while taking a full bath. Or whether I should declare this song the most embarrassing of the CD. Want a sample? Here you go: “The politicians sit in Berlin and are evading taxes; But when we demonstrate, you immediately send the cops; Daily our right to get justice is taken from us”.
Excuse me, but the full bath is waiting for me…
Escaping the dire straits of imminent death, I still write my concluding words about this CD. I won’t even touch on the musical spark, as it sounds the same except for a few exceptions. It would be like writing about different species of cockroaches. Aside from researchers, no one would care about the differences of these creatures because they all look almost the same anyway. It’s the same with the music… apart from tiny differences, the black cloud of monotony hangs over this album. I’ve also just vented quite a bit about the lyrics. I really have nothing against lyrics that address already treated topics. There are really very good songs that are “Against War”, “Against the State”, or “For Beer”. But these have an incredibly intelligent elaboration that makes it simply enjoyable to listen. Here, there isn’t even the slightest trace of that, and that is truly sad! But I’ll still throw in a cliché: The cover! How great that one wants to integrate into the scene. It gives the impression of being so sociable and pissing on the German flag together. Hooray, that’s settled too. The day is saved!
Let’s be honest, what is this crap supposed to be? Don’t we already have enough of this garbage? This record is an absolute outrage! Clichés as far as the eye can see, monotony to the point of cold vomiting, and the seemingly unbroken will to produce even more albums… let alone play concerts. Sorry, dear people from Alarmsignal, but within the vast ocean of bands and music, you stand out about as much as a burning matchstick in the sun. Despite everything, the band enjoys a certain popularity and recognition. And that somehow scares me. I hope that all of this eventually dissolves as a kind of “youth sin”… both from the band’s side and from the fans’ side.
At this point, I realize that I initially wrote: A scathing review is probably better than their mediocrity. Apparently, I forgot how perversely bad this mediocrity is. After all, I’ve gotten quite worked up. The result should therefore be no surprise. Although there are one or two songs that you can just about listen to and there is also the occasional sampler contribution that just passes, this album still represents a sad abyss of musical art.
I would love to enter a negative number, but the rating function only goes up to “1”. What a shame...
